Domestic abuse
Domestic abuse can affect men and women of any age, from any culture or religion, in a heterosexual or same sex relationship, in a family relationship (or not in a relationship at all), living with or apart from their abuser.
The abuse could be physical, psychological, sexual, financial or emotional, or could be in the form of ‘honour’ based violence, including forced marriage, modern day slavery or female genital mutilation (FGM).
It’s rarely a one-off incident and tends to get worse over time.
If you feel you are a victim of any form of domestic abuse, or feel at risk, we can offer you a range of advice and support. Domestic abuse is unacceptable and we’ll take firm action against those responsible.
Support available
As always, if you or someone else is in immediate danger please call 999 and ask for the police. Silent calls will work if you are not safe to speak - call 999 and then press 55. Find out more about silent calls.
Please also contact us or talk to the housing team, so we can refer you to specialist organisations who can offer you support and advice.
You can also contact:
- The National Domestic Violence helpline, run by Refuge, which specialises in supporting women suffering domestic violence, on 0808 2000 247, 24 hours a day.
- Refuge , which specialises in supporting women suffering domestic violence.
- ManKind Initiative , which specialises in supporting men, on 01823 334244, Monday – Friday, 10am-4pm.
- Men’s Advice Line , which also specialises in supporting men, on 0808 8010327, Monday – Friday 10am-5pm.
There is also the Bright Sky app, which is a free to download mobile app providing information and advice. The app has lots of useful tools and you can also record evidence in a private journal (via text, audio, video or photo). The information uploaded is not stored on the phone itself, ensuring the information remains confidential.
- Download the Bright Sky app in the Google Play Store .
- Download the Bright Sky app in the iOS App Store .
For those perpetrators that are worried about their behaviour and who wish to take steps to change them, we can signpost them to Respect Phoneline .
Telephone support - 0808 8024040 Monday to Friday 10am to 5pm. Anonymous and confidential phoneline.
Email support - info@respectphoneline.org.uk Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm.
Webchat support - Thursday 2pm - 4pm.
Rape, sexual assault and sexual abuse are all types of domestic abuse. According to Rape Crisis England and Wales :
- 1 in 4 women have been sexually assaulted as an adult [6.54 million women in total]
- 1 in 18 men have been sexually assaulted as an adult [1.34 million men in total]
- 1 in 6 children have been sexually abused.
There are many myths around sexual violence and abuse , which can cause victims to feel shame or blame themselves.
If you need help, Rape Crisis has a free, 24/7 Rape & Sexual Abuse Support Line, with specialists available at any time of the day or night.
Call free on 0808 500 2222 or go to their website to start a free online chat . They also have lots of information on their website you can access.
If you are in immediate danger, always call 999.
"Psychological abuse involves the regular and deliberate use of a range of words and non-physical actions used with the purpose to manipulate, hurt, weaken or frighten a person mentally and emotionally; and/or distort, confuse or influence a person’s thoughts and actions within their everyday lives, changing their sense of self and harming their wellbeing.”
“Emotional abuse includes non-physical behaviours that are meant to control, isolate, or frighten you.
This may present in romantic relationships as threats, insults, constant monitoring, excessive jealousy, manipulation, humiliation, intimidation, and dismissiveness, among others. Sometimes emotional abuse is more obvious, like a partner yelling at you or calling you names.
Other times it can be more subtle, like your partner acting jealous of your friends or not wanting you to hang out with someone of another gender. While these emotionally abusive behaviours do not leave physical marks, they do hurt, disempower, and traumatise the partner who is experiencing the abuse.”
“Physical abuse is deliberately hurting or injuring someone. This could include hitting, smacking, pushing, shaking, spitting, pinching, scalding, misusing medication, inappropriate restraint, inappropriate physical punishments, or other ways of causing physical harm.”
Economical abuse can take many forms and involves an abuser restricting or having control over the other partner's access to economic resources.
It includes controlling money or other financial assets, spending their money or not allowing them to have access to it, damaging possessions, or property, putting debt in their name, preventing them from accessing education or work, withholding child maintenance payments.
It diminishes the victim’s capacity to support themselves and forces them to depend on their perpetrator financially.
Coercive control is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, frighten or scare their victim.
This controlling behaviour is a range of acts designed to make a person feel inferior and/or dependent.
It isolates them from any form of support, from family and friends, exploiting them for personal gain, controlling everything they do and depriving them of their right to make their own choices of everyday activities, thoughts, feelings.
It takes away their independence, which includes enforcing rules that degrade or dehumanise the victim or threats to reveal private information about them.
What will you do if I report domestic abuse?
We’ll listen to you, believing what you tell us, and will contact you safely, in a way and time that suits you.
We’ll treat what you tell us confidentially but, if we’re concerned that someone is at risk of serious harm, we have a duty of care to pass this onto the correct agency. Where possible we will make you aware.
We’ll be clear about what we can do and we’ll help you find specialist support. If you decide you would like to report this to the police, we can support you.
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How can we help?
We’ll keep in regular contact with you and keep a log of everything you tell us.
We can give advice and support on restraining orders and injunctions and make referrals to other agencies. We’ll work closely with those agencies to make sure you get the help you need.
We realise that your home is extremely important to you and one of the main reasons people don’t leave.
If you need to leave your home, we can help you find a safe place to live. We can provide advice about alternative housing and give you options to enable you to make an informed choice for you and your family, this could include temporary or permanent transfers.
If you want to stay at home, we can provide additional security measures. We can also give you advice on applying for benefits and help you fill out the forms.
We take a zero-tolerance approach to domestic abuse and where possible with your consent and safety in mind we will hold perpetrators of abuse to account where this is appropriate to do so. We will always be clear that domestic abuse is never the fault of the victim/survivor or their children.
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